Day 34 - Good Times

Elizabeth and I went for our first walk today. My mom bought a stroller for us this past weekend. Mom and I went out on Sunday to test it out. Was nice. Elizabeth loved it! It reclines into a lying position for infants, but Elizabeth hates it. When we go out, I have her reclining a bit, but up enough to where she can see everything.

The hardest thing has been trying to get a routine down. Elizabeth will turn 5 weeks old tomorrow, so I know it's a bit on the futile side trying to get a routine set, but still... I'm doing better about being able to do what needs to be done.

Day 30 - I start a blog.

I gave birth to my first child, Elizabeth, on March 23, 2010. It's been an adventure so far, an adventure I wish to share with you all. First, a little about me and how I came to be a mom.

My name is Carol. I'm 24 years old, will be 25 in September. Around this time last year I quit my good job so that I could go back to school. I did this on an impulse, I planned on trying to get some sort of financial aid and I found out if you were under 24, you had to include your parent's income on your FAFSA. My mom had gotten a better job, so I wouldn't qualify. So to bide the time until I turned 24, I got a part time job at a little boutique. I started out as just a regular employee and quickly was made a lead cashier. I loved the job, the hours, everything. I moved in with my boyfriend, Richard, in March right after I started my retail job. Things were going well until I missed my period in July. I suffer from depression and when I had a low point, I would always go lay on our bed and "hide." If he was home, Richard would always give me a bit of time and then come and check on me. When he came in to check on me that evening, I started crying when he asked me what was wrong. I told him I thought I was pregnant. I was scared - I didn't have insurance, this wasn't planned, and Richard didn't really want kids. Richard told me that it was probably nothing, but if I was really worried to go to the CVS down the street and get a pregnancy test. I took one that night and before I set it on the counter, I had a positive reading. I took a second one the next morning and same thing. I called my doctor and scheduled to have an "official" test done. They did a blood test and they confirmed that I was pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do regarding insurance and work. I had already made up my mind that I would keep the baby. I'm pro-choice - it's a personal decision - but for me I just couldn't have an abortion and I couldn't imagine putting my baby up for adoption.

So, since I was only employed part-time, I knew I should qualify for Medicaid. I put in my application and eventually received benefits. By the time we had our first ultrasound, we could see if we were having a boy or a girl. I think secretly I wanted to have a boy, but I wouldn't trade Elizabeth for a boy for anything now. I had a boy's name picked out; I had thought of several girl's names, but nothing jumped out at me. It took me a while to nail down Elizabeth as her name and even longer to decide on a middle name. We decided on Elizabeth because it is a family name - my grandmother's name and my middle name. I finally decided on Lynn for her middle name - Richard's grandfather's name.

The weekend after we got the confirming test results, I was in my first "bad" car accident. I was heading to work in my Miata and an SUV pulled out in front of me. I was right beside the store. As soon as it hit mentally, I started crying. My airbags didn't deploy, and I had applied my breaks and slowed down so the impact wasn't that bad, but still... I was worried about the baby I had just found out about. I called 911 to report the accident, and although I figured everything was okay, I wanted an ambulance sent just to be sure. My blood pressure was high when the paramedics checked it, and it kept going down every time they re-checked it. They didn't insist I go to the hospital, so I didn't opt to. I knew that as long as I had myself checked out by the paramedics, I could always go to the hospital later if need be and insurance wouldn't say I denied treatment. I was so messed up emotionally, I wasn't able to work that day. I kept crying. I swore if anything happened to the baby because of the accident, I would sue. I tried calling Richard, but since he worked nights and it was early in the day, he didn't answer his phone, he was asleep. One of the girls from work gave me a ride home. Richard calmed me down and later that day he treated me to shopping for work clothes that would grow with my prego belly.

I found a great obstetrician. I cried the first time I heard her heartbeat.

A few months later, I did go to the hospital for horrible pain. I figured it was just round ligament pain, but since it was my first pregnancy and it hurt so horribly, I wanted it checked out. As soon as I heard Elizabeth's heartbeat, I was fine. They gave me some pain medication and sent me home.

I told my boss early on that I would work as long as I could and I would give her ample time to find my replacement. I decided that I wanted to leave before Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I made my last day October 31. I was pleased at who was chosen as my replacement; it was who I would have picked. I was able to spend the holidays with my family.

Richard went to every obstetrician appointment with me and was there every step of the way. He took a week off work beginning the Thursday before I was due. He then planned to work from home for another couple of weeks. Once my due date came and passed, we decided that we needed to go ahead and induce before he started working from home. We scheduled to be induced on March 23. We were due at the hospital at 6am. I actually started having regular contractions around 3am. I decided since we were to be at the hospital at 6am, we didn't need to go any earlier. Richard slept most of the morning. I tried, but according to my mom, the epidural made me wired. She said I wouldn't shut up! At 5pm that day, Elizabeth was born. She was 8 lb 9 oz and 20 1/2 in. We stayed in the hospital two days.

Elizabeth had jaundice and the pediatrician wanted us to come in the day after we went home. When Mom and I took Elizabeth to the pediatrician's office, he sent us to have blood work done at the hospital to check her biliruben levels. We sat at the hospital for a little bit waiting for the results. I was getting very tired and was even nodding off in the waiting area, so Mom asked if we needed to wait for the results. One of the ladies told us they had just heard back from the pediatrician and he wanted Elizabeth to stay in the hospital for treatment. I started crying thinking that I would have to leave my baby at the hospital all by herself. Mom and the lady that admitted Elizabeth told me that I could stay too - they wouldn't make me leave her. Like I said, I was tired and way emotional. Less than 24 hours and we were back in the hospital. Elizabeth had over 24 hours of photo-therapy. We were finally able to go home and try to get into a good routine. It was nice to finally be home with Richard and Elizabeth. Mom took off a few days to help out around our apartment and with Elizabeth. She was great - Richard and I were able to get some much needed sleep.

I can't believe all of this happened 4 weeks ago. Part of me feels like it was yesterday; another part feels like it was well over a year ago.

Today I went to the obstetrician for a 4-week check. I had been having some pain where my episiotomy/tear stitches were. It turns out one of them hadn't healed completely. It's possible that there is a slight infection, so I was prescribed an antibiotic. I get checked again next week. The week after that I am getting an IUD for birth control. From what I've read, it's a little painful going in, but is great. Richard and I probably will have another baby at some point, but no time soon!