Day 253 - I finally decide to update Project Elizabeth.

Oh my little Elizabeth is advancing so fast!  She can sit on her own, pull up to a standing position, and is "talking" so much!  She'll be walking any day now.  She has her bottom two middle teeth.  The top middle two teeth seem to be coming in - I felt one the other day, but I can't any more.

She's started eating mashed up table food.  She had Thanksgiving dinner with us!  She loved it all!

Day 135 - I remember I have a blog.

God, I haven't updated in awhile. This is going to be a short post, have got so much to do. I have been so busy. Richard's sister is coming down from Canada later this month and I'm trying to get the house in order before she gets here. The garage is mostly cleaned out, but now I've got boxes in the house that need to be gone through.

Elizabeth has started doing so much more than last time I updated. She can roll over from back to front and front to back. She's almost crawling. She's eating some solids. She wants to walk so bad - she can support her own weight on her legs.

I can't really think of anything else notable right now.

Day 82 - I finally have a car!

Well, a lot has happened since my last post. Elizabeth has learned a new trick - how to scoot herself along on her back by kicking her feet. I'd be more enthusiastic if it hadn't caused us a trip to the emergency room... She scooted herself off of the changing table. Richard thought she was asleep and laid her down on the changing pad. He turned away for a second and boom... I heard a sound, thought, "I hope that wasn't what I think that was. What is Richard doing?" and then heard crying. I don't think I had ever gotten out of bed that fast before. If there was any doubt in my mind that I shouldn't have had a baby, it went away that moment. All I wanted to do was take her pain away and soothe her. I was hysterical. I started bawling and I knew it wasn't helping her, it was making her more upset, but I couldn't help it. I was worried about my baby girl. Richard kept trying to calm me down, telling me that she would be okay. He told me later that he had every intention of going to the ER and that checking her eyes to make sure they dilated for a light source was to help me calm down - not so that we wouldn't go. She is fine. They did a CT scan of her head to make sure there wasn't any bleeding - she hated that with a passion. She has always hated being swaddled and not being able to move and they had to strap her arms down. I felt so bad - I kept telling her that it was okay, it would be over soon, it was to make sure she was alright, etc. When we got home, I fell asleep on the couch with Elizabeth in the bouncy beside me. Every time she tossed her bottle and started crying, I jumped. The bottle made a thump noise when it hit the ground.

The next morning while I was changing her diaper, she puts her feet up like she's going to scoot, I tell her not to even think about it - that's what got her in trouble the day before and she just wriggles her hips and grins at me. I swear she's just screwing with me now. A little later, I was cradling her in my arms on the sofa and she decides to spring-board off of my arm. I could tell what she was doing and was quick enough to turn to where she landed on a pillow on the sofa. Again, she just grinned at me. I find it funny in a "let's mess with Mommy" way.

So Richard and I are working on getting packed to move into our new house next weekend. Mom took Elizabeth today so that we could get stuff done and was keeping her overnight. I forgot to pack the medicine droppers, so Mom had to come and pick them up. I needed a break, so the three of us went out shopping. When we got back, Richard asked me if I wanted a car. I thought to myself, "What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I do." and said questioningly that yeah, I did. He told me that his dad asked if we wanted his '96 Infiniti I30. I want an SUV at some point, but right now, I really don't care as long as I have a big enough vehicle. I told him that I had no problem with that. So tonight, I made "Thank You" pound cake for Richard's parents. The recipe I had made two loaves, so I divided it up and made one a Mayan Chocolate and the other Mocha. (Mayan Chocolate is chocolate with cinnamon.) I'm giving half of each flavor to his parents. The other halves we're going to taste and share with Mom. I have really missed baking. I haven't really cooked since before I gave birth to Elizabeth. Hopefully, I can start cooking and baking again soon.

Day 66 part 2 - I am too tired to drive home.

Well, I drove over to Mom's to let the cable guy in. By the time we went out to the new house and got back to her apartment, I was way too tired to drive home. Thus Elizabeth and I are crashing at Mom's tonight. We adjusted the stroller into the full reclining position and put some blankets down. She's asleep right now. It is the funniest thing though, Jake is "protecting" her. He is keeping constant vigil by the stroller. She made a noise earlier and Jake jumped up from laying down and gently raised up and peered over the side of the stroller to make sure "his" baby was okay. I told him that she was sleeping and not to disturb her. He's now laying on Mom's bed as close as he can to the stroller. When she fidgets, he raises his head in concern. It is so cute the way he worries over her. I knew he would be okay with the new addition to the family, but never did I imagine the love he has for her. I think I mentioned before that he'll be moving into the new house with us. I bet I know who's room he'll be sleeping in!

Day 66 - We have a house!

We closed on a house on Tuesday and we get the keys today! I'm so excited. I'm taking Mom to the house tonight to show her - and so I can remember the exact layout. We looked at so many houses a lot of them started running together in my mind. I've got to go to Mom's apartment today to wait for the cable guy. Her internet has been out all week and her cable boxes are acting weird. I was over there earlier this week and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I'm going to start going through things while I'm over there. I need to get my stuff sorted out. There's a lot of stuff I need to find. I bought a lot of stuff on sale back in 2007 when I thought I would have my own apartment. Mom and I thought we'd be moving two different places - she thought she would be in Houston and I thought I would be in College Station. Things happen for a reason though.

Day 62 - She's 2 months old!

Well, today was Elizabeth's two-month birthday. Yesterday, she and Mom went to see Grandma in Palestine. They had a good time and I was able to get things done around the apartment. Looks like we'll be closing on the new house next week. I'm so excited about that. We're trying to set our moving date for the weekend of June 18. I'm trying to round up help. I can't wait to be in our new home.

I've got a lot of measuring to do. I can't wait to decorate. Three years ago, I bought things for "my apartment" that I never got. Finally, I have a place to decorate!

Am watching the Lost series finally. I had TiVo'ed it, so I'm a bit behind.

Day 58 - I am sick.

So, Mom and I took Elizabeth to the mall to go walking this evening. We had a nice time out. Right when Mom left at 9:30 pm, I felt extremely nauseous. I asked Richard to come home and thankfully he was able to. Elizabeth was fussy - I think she knew I didn't feel good. She settled down after Richard got home. I don't feel terrible, but something's definitely not right. I'm not running fever, so maybe this will pass soon.

Richard got a call from either our Realtor or mortgage broker the other day. The seller of the house wants to bump up the closing date. We are probably going to close by the end of the month. I hope we do - I want to get moved. Last night, I thought Richard was knocking on the door because I had accidentally locked the deadbolt to where he couldn't get in. I got out of bed and went to the door, but there was no one there. I think someone was knocking on the door upstairs because I heard a woman shouting something about, "He has my phone and purse and information." Lord knows what that was all about. Richard got home about 10 minutes after that. I was glad. Ever since the door was kicked in by some idiot kid, I've been a bit jumpy. This happened over a year ago; I wasn't yet living here, but I still am jumpy just knowing it happened.

Elizabeth goes to the doctor on Tuesday for her two-month check. She gets some vaccinations and I am not looking forward to it. I know that it will bother me more than it will her. I'm going to try to keep my cool and not cry...

Day 46 - I smoke up the apartment.

Okay, so Richard told me the way to clean a cast iron skillet is to char anything stuck to it and then scrub that out - it's what his grandmother apparently used to do. Well, I tried this method and wound up retreating to the bedroom with Elizabeth because of all of the smoke! There was no fire, just a ton of smoke. I had to take the smoke detector down until all of it cleared out. Because of the neighborhood we currently live in, I couldn't leave the patio door open to let the smoke out, I had to settle for the one living room window that has a screen on it, so it took quite a while for it to clear out. I really can't wait to move. Hopefully we'll find out soon whether or not the house we have a contract on qualifies for FHA funding. (It should, we had an inspection done and he didn't see anything that should disqualify it.)

It's about time we found a house. We've been looking since before I was pregnant. We've been close to getting a house several times. The first time was last year. We spent months and quite a bit of money only to find out that the foundation was just bad enough that it didn't qualify for FHA. Word to the wise, if you are looking for a mortgage, do not go with Bank of America. We were almost out $3000 because of their incompetence. The rep we were working with said that we didn't have to have an engineering survey even though the appraisal said we did. We kept filing contract extensions because of BoA which was $350 an extension. Fortunately, after a lot of run around, we were reimbursed. What topped it all off - BoA was so out of it, they sent us TWO reimbursement checks! Way to be on top of things! They caught their error fairly quickly, but damn...

On a lighter note, I had the Mirena IUD placed yesterday. I was scared going in because of the reviews I had read online. I thought it was going to hurt and I'd be in pain afterwards. I'm a wuss and have a very low pain tolerance. I had only mild discomfort while my doctor was placing it. What "hurt" the worst (and I say "hurt" because it wasn't that bad) was having the speculum in and pulling a little at my tears (they're still a little tender.) I also had read that after it was put in, women experienced pain like bad menstrual cramps. Maybe because my regular period cramps were/are horrible, it didn't seem bad. I've always had problems with my period. Bad cramps, heavy bleeding... Hopefully the Mirena will really help that...

So Mother's Day is Sunday. Mom, Elizabeth, and I are going home to visit my grandmother. She's excited. This is the second time she's getting to see Elizabeth in person. I send photos to her, but it's not the same. Grandma found out today that my father knows about Elizabeth. I don't speak with my father and his family, that's another story for another day. Thanks to social networking sites, he found out. I don't care that he found out, I just wasn't going to be the one to tell him.

Day 41 - I feel like a horrible mom.

Okay, so the second day we went out walking, it was sunny so I decided to put on sunscreen. I read that the same needed to be done for babies, so I put some on Elizabeth. The next day, I had bumps on my hands. I didn't really think about it - it didn't hurt or itch. So when I went for a walk that day, I didn't think about sunscreen - most of my route is in the shade. When I got to the sunny part, my arms started burning. It felt rash-y. When I got back to the apartment, I took a shower to get whatever was on my skin, off. It felt marginally better after a shower. The next day, I noticed my arms were lumpy and red-ish. It seemed that being in the sun made it burn - the heat made it itchy and stingy. I noticed later that day that Elizabeth had the same sort of bumps on her face that were on my hands. It dawned on me that it almost had to be the sunscreen we used. There wasn't much else it could be. I felt horrible. It didn't seem to bother Elizabeth - her bumps weren't red, just lumpy.

So today when I gave her a bath, I discovered that she has horrible cradle cap on her scalp. At first I thought that I hadn't rinsed off all of the baby wash, but then I realized that it was dry skin that was clumping up. I finally managed to get the dry skin on her legs and feet cleared up, but now she's got baby flakes.

Day 34 - Good Times

Elizabeth and I went for our first walk today. My mom bought a stroller for us this past weekend. Mom and I went out on Sunday to test it out. Was nice. Elizabeth loved it! It reclines into a lying position for infants, but Elizabeth hates it. When we go out, I have her reclining a bit, but up enough to where she can see everything.

The hardest thing has been trying to get a routine down. Elizabeth will turn 5 weeks old tomorrow, so I know it's a bit on the futile side trying to get a routine set, but still... I'm doing better about being able to do what needs to be done.

Day 30 - I start a blog.

I gave birth to my first child, Elizabeth, on March 23, 2010. It's been an adventure so far, an adventure I wish to share with you all. First, a little about me and how I came to be a mom.

My name is Carol. I'm 24 years old, will be 25 in September. Around this time last year I quit my good job so that I could go back to school. I did this on an impulse, I planned on trying to get some sort of financial aid and I found out if you were under 24, you had to include your parent's income on your FAFSA. My mom had gotten a better job, so I wouldn't qualify. So to bide the time until I turned 24, I got a part time job at a little boutique. I started out as just a regular employee and quickly was made a lead cashier. I loved the job, the hours, everything. I moved in with my boyfriend, Richard, in March right after I started my retail job. Things were going well until I missed my period in July. I suffer from depression and when I had a low point, I would always go lay on our bed and "hide." If he was home, Richard would always give me a bit of time and then come and check on me. When he came in to check on me that evening, I started crying when he asked me what was wrong. I told him I thought I was pregnant. I was scared - I didn't have insurance, this wasn't planned, and Richard didn't really want kids. Richard told me that it was probably nothing, but if I was really worried to go to the CVS down the street and get a pregnancy test. I took one that night and before I set it on the counter, I had a positive reading. I took a second one the next morning and same thing. I called my doctor and scheduled to have an "official" test done. They did a blood test and they confirmed that I was pregnant. I had no idea what I was going to do regarding insurance and work. I had already made up my mind that I would keep the baby. I'm pro-choice - it's a personal decision - but for me I just couldn't have an abortion and I couldn't imagine putting my baby up for adoption.

So, since I was only employed part-time, I knew I should qualify for Medicaid. I put in my application and eventually received benefits. By the time we had our first ultrasound, we could see if we were having a boy or a girl. I think secretly I wanted to have a boy, but I wouldn't trade Elizabeth for a boy for anything now. I had a boy's name picked out; I had thought of several girl's names, but nothing jumped out at me. It took me a while to nail down Elizabeth as her name and even longer to decide on a middle name. We decided on Elizabeth because it is a family name - my grandmother's name and my middle name. I finally decided on Lynn for her middle name - Richard's grandfather's name.

The weekend after we got the confirming test results, I was in my first "bad" car accident. I was heading to work in my Miata and an SUV pulled out in front of me. I was right beside the store. As soon as it hit mentally, I started crying. My airbags didn't deploy, and I had applied my breaks and slowed down so the impact wasn't that bad, but still... I was worried about the baby I had just found out about. I called 911 to report the accident, and although I figured everything was okay, I wanted an ambulance sent just to be sure. My blood pressure was high when the paramedics checked it, and it kept going down every time they re-checked it. They didn't insist I go to the hospital, so I didn't opt to. I knew that as long as I had myself checked out by the paramedics, I could always go to the hospital later if need be and insurance wouldn't say I denied treatment. I was so messed up emotionally, I wasn't able to work that day. I kept crying. I swore if anything happened to the baby because of the accident, I would sue. I tried calling Richard, but since he worked nights and it was early in the day, he didn't answer his phone, he was asleep. One of the girls from work gave me a ride home. Richard calmed me down and later that day he treated me to shopping for work clothes that would grow with my prego belly.

I found a great obstetrician. I cried the first time I heard her heartbeat.

A few months later, I did go to the hospital for horrible pain. I figured it was just round ligament pain, but since it was my first pregnancy and it hurt so horribly, I wanted it checked out. As soon as I heard Elizabeth's heartbeat, I was fine. They gave me some pain medication and sent me home.

I told my boss early on that I would work as long as I could and I would give her ample time to find my replacement. I decided that I wanted to leave before Thanksgiving and Christmas, so I made my last day October 31. I was pleased at who was chosen as my replacement; it was who I would have picked. I was able to spend the holidays with my family.

Richard went to every obstetrician appointment with me and was there every step of the way. He took a week off work beginning the Thursday before I was due. He then planned to work from home for another couple of weeks. Once my due date came and passed, we decided that we needed to go ahead and induce before he started working from home. We scheduled to be induced on March 23. We were due at the hospital at 6am. I actually started having regular contractions around 3am. I decided since we were to be at the hospital at 6am, we didn't need to go any earlier. Richard slept most of the morning. I tried, but according to my mom, the epidural made me wired. She said I wouldn't shut up! At 5pm that day, Elizabeth was born. She was 8 lb 9 oz and 20 1/2 in. We stayed in the hospital two days.

Elizabeth had jaundice and the pediatrician wanted us to come in the day after we went home. When Mom and I took Elizabeth to the pediatrician's office, he sent us to have blood work done at the hospital to check her biliruben levels. We sat at the hospital for a little bit waiting for the results. I was getting very tired and was even nodding off in the waiting area, so Mom asked if we needed to wait for the results. One of the ladies told us they had just heard back from the pediatrician and he wanted Elizabeth to stay in the hospital for treatment. I started crying thinking that I would have to leave my baby at the hospital all by herself. Mom and the lady that admitted Elizabeth told me that I could stay too - they wouldn't make me leave her. Like I said, I was tired and way emotional. Less than 24 hours and we were back in the hospital. Elizabeth had over 24 hours of photo-therapy. We were finally able to go home and try to get into a good routine. It was nice to finally be home with Richard and Elizabeth. Mom took off a few days to help out around our apartment and with Elizabeth. She was great - Richard and I were able to get some much needed sleep.

I can't believe all of this happened 4 weeks ago. Part of me feels like it was yesterday; another part feels like it was well over a year ago.

Today I went to the obstetrician for a 4-week check. I had been having some pain where my episiotomy/tear stitches were. It turns out one of them hadn't healed completely. It's possible that there is a slight infection, so I was prescribed an antibiotic. I get checked again next week. The week after that I am getting an IUD for birth control. From what I've read, it's a little painful going in, but is great. Richard and I probably will have another baby at some point, but no time soon!